


Let The Real One In

by froofie



Category: Actor RPF, BBC Sherlock, Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom, Sherlock - Fandom, benedict cumberbatch rpf - Fandom
Genre: F/M, First Date, Impressions, Jokes, Speed Dating, alt-j, awkward dating, benedict cumberbatch rpf, meet cute, that grey cardigan, tom hiddleston - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-07
Updated: 2013-08-07
Packaged: 2017-12-22 18:24:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/916525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/froofie/pseuds/froofie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on image.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let The Real One In

**[Organizer over microphone: FIVE MINUTES AND…GO!]**

**[Timer dings]**

Hi. Nice handshake. I like your cardigan.

_Hello! Thank you. My friends say I wear it too much._

Your friends are just jealous. It looks great on  you.

[Adopts accent, sits on hands] _Oh, shtop, vat are you sayingk?_

[Little giggle]

_Sorry. Thank you. So. Last one of the night._

Yes. It’s exhausting. Sorry you’re the final date, I’ve lost all interest in this event.

_Agreed. Let’s just have some fun, then._

 Nothing to lose. I didn’t really come here for myself anyway.

_Oh?_

My girlfriend dragged me here for support. She’s admittedly fairly desperate. You?

_No, not desperate in the least. Happy to just let it happen. Get to know someone over time._

[laughs] No, I mean, why are you here?

 _Oh, sorry!_ [takes long sip of water]

No, no, that’s refreshing. I feel the same way. Sorry, I interrupted you.

_I’m mainly here doing research for a character I’m about to play on stage next month._

So are you single?

_Well, yes, but, maybe like you, my motives for being here aren’t directly about meeting someone._

**[Organizer: FOUR MINUTES!]**

I hate this pressurized atmosphere. Though, the restaurant is lovely.

_I used to work at the chocolate shop next door._

Ooh, can you get me a discount? Sorry, I’m joking. I forget strangers don’t know my sense of humor.

_No need to apologize. I can tell you’re lighthearted. I see it in your pretty eyes._

Now it’s my turn to blush. Quick, change the subject!

_Tell me a joke._

Uh. Hmm. Oh! Okay. So, this guy goes to the vet concerned about his goldfish having seizures. The vet looks at the fish, happily swimming around in the water and says, “I’m sorry, I don’t see anything wrong with it.” The guy gets frustrated and says, “How can you tell?! I haven’t even taken him out of the bowl yet!”

[Big laugh, snorts through nose] _I like that one. Very funny._

Thank you!

**[Organizer: THREE MINUTES!]**

_How have you spent your other 5 minute dates?_

Counting the bottles of wine on the wall behind you while they talk incessantly, mostly. I know that sounds rude, but I think it’s more rude to not engage the other person.

_I know. You look better to others when you are curious about them rather than going on about yourself. How many?_

Pardon?

_How many wine bottles are there behind me?_

Oh! Um, I got up to 52 before you sat down.

_And now?_

I stopped counting. [winks]

[Smiles and wipes at tablecloth in front of him]

I’ve also been experimenting.

_How so?_

I’m challenging myself to not try and impress anyone who sits in front of me, which is what I usually do on dates.

_How are you doing?_

Up until you sat down, it was easy.

_Uh-oh. What did I do?_

You’ve upped my game.

_How have I done that?_

I, uhm, you’re the first one I’ve wanted to impress. To, um, like me.

_Well, that’s unnecessary._

I know, just being honest.

_I appreciate that. First woman I felt was being truthful all night._

Wow. Really? Well, I can’t be anything but myself at this point.

_It’s working._

Oh, thank you. [shy smile]

_I’ll reciprocate: I’m now adopting your no-impress method. You’re right…it’s extraordinarily difficult to be vulnerable when you want the beautiful woman in the pink top sitting across from you to like you._

Oh. Awww. Isn’t it refreshing to just let go? To not try and cover up your insecurities?

 _It is._ [laughs, swipes finger over lips shyly]

So freeing.

_Speaking of impressions, do you wanna play a game?_

**[Organizer: TWO MINUTES! MAKE SURE YOU ASK YOUR MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS!]**

[Whispers] Stop telling me how to conduct my love life, lady.

[Whispers in the direction of the organizer] _Seriously. That’s my mother’s job._

[Snorts out a huge laugh] Oh, you’re funny, too.

_Thank you! I’ll keep it up if I can hear that amazing laugh of yours again._

[smile] Okay, so, fuck the questions, let’s play your game.

_I call out a famous person and you have to do an impression of them immediately, without thinking. Whatever comes up. Then I’ll do one._

Oh God. Okay. Go ahead.

_You want me to go first, take the pressure off?_

Yeah.

_Okay, give me a famous person._

Tom Hiddleston

[Adopts stiff posture and points to the ground] _“Kneel!”_

[Mild applause] Very good very good! My turn.

_Um…Albert Einstein_

[Makes hair all crazy, sticks tongue out] “I’m a fucking genius!”

[Both laugh]

Woman at next table, speaking loudly to date, “What song are they playing in the background?”

[Same time to woman:] “Matilda”

[Look at each other, smiling]

[Next table] It sounds depressing.

[Same time:] I love it.

[Both laugh]

[half-sings] “And she needs yooooou”

_“ThisisfromMatildaaaaa”_

[Smiles]

[Smiles]

Love that band.

_Me, too. Unique._

Sexy-Smart.

 _YES!_ [gestures passionately]

[laughs]

_WHAT?!_

Just, you’re so….alive. Awake. Everyone else has been like a drone. Dull. Typical. Are you even real?

_I’d consider myself quite real. But I know how you feel._

**[Organizer over microphone: 1 minute!]**

_Last chance: give me all your honesty in one sentence._

All of it?

_Well, say something completely real._

Do you really want to hear it?

_Yes. Nothing to lose._

[Takes in a deep breath] Okay. My heart burst open when you sat down.

[Fingers cover mouth] _Wow. That’s beautiful._

[Quiet]

Don’t leave me hanging. Your turn.

_Sorry. I was stunned. Okay. I ruined every date tonight on purpose because I knew I only wanted to talk to you when you walked in the room._

Well then! Thank you.

 _Thank_ **you**. [Quiet] _Did you, um, ride with your girlfriend?_

No, I came on my own.

_You wanna do something funny?_

Absolutely. What?

_When she calls 30 seconds, follow my lead._

Okay.

[Quiet for 5 seconds]

**[Organizer over microphone: THIRTY SECONDS MAKE THEM COUNT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!]**

_QuickQuickQuick!_ [Reaches hand over]

[Take hand. Get up from table.]

[To the restaurant] _Well, this has been most helpful indeed. I’ll take this one, please._ [To you, whisper] _Run!_

[Run, hand-in-hand]

[Singing loudly to the room] “THIS IS FROM MATILDAAAAAA!!!”

**[Timer dings]**

[Both giggle through restaurant and out the front door.]

**Author's Note:**

> The song "Matilda" is by Alt-J. The whole damn "An Awesome Wave" album is...extraordinary.


End file.
